The Rollercoaster Ride

I keep reading about how studying abroad is like a roller coaster with ups and downs. I hadn't really experienced any feeling other than pretty good about the preparation for the trip, that is until tonight. When I got accepted to the program I was so excited because things were starting to move forward. I wasn't even sure that I would be able to study abroad this semester because I started the process so late. After the initial excitement things just kind of stayed the same and I didn't have any change of emotion. The past week I've felt like I was in a dream. Russia seems so far away and for some reason I can't believe I will actually be there very soon. So here it at 1 am on Feb 2nd so that means I will be heading to Moscow tomorrow. This dream that I've had for so long will actually become a reality and in theory I should be overjoyed, but that is far from what I'm feeling tonight. I think I'm scared and I don't know what I'm even scared of. It might be just a fear of the unknown. I'm one of those people that is over prepared for everything. Knowledge is not only power to me, but it is comfort. If I know what is going on, what to expect and a few random facts about something then I'm 100% comfortable. Don't get me wrong, I've done my research, took a semester of Russian, went to my Russia club meetings and read my Moscow tourist guide but I still have no idea what to expect. I have absolutely no expectations because I just don't know what expectations to have. I'm hopeful that this nervousness will pass soon because the rest of today is totally dedicated to visiting my family and doing some last minute Russian studies (I feel like I'm cramming before the ultimate test.)
I intend to keep my goals in mind and remember all of the reasons that I fell in love with the idea of Russia to begin with. I know these next four months will fly by and I am going to spend that time embracing, experiencing and learning all that I can.

Ready or not, Russia, here I come.